I Believe I Was Wrong

vest: vintage (loving this one) // pants: gap (here) // coat: karlie (similar here) // shoes: shoemint (similar here) // necklaces: vintage chanel and stella & dot
photos by common dove photography

Being a 26 year old mother going through a divorce is pretty much a learning game…..a painful, annoying, rewarding learning game. Being able to admit when I'm wrong has definitely been a learned quality over the last several months.  A couple of weeks ago I thought I had all of the answers….I thought I was doing ok and that it was time for my "walls" to come down…..boy was I wrong. 

Sitting on a freezing cold beach a couple of days ago I had an epiphany…… the answer is….I DON'T have to have all of the answers right now, in fact, I don't need any answers right now. I  just need to get through the day and make sure my son is happy and taken care of. Outside of that is beyond my control. Putting walls up isn't always a bad thing, it actually helps to keep you grounded. Its alright to have your head in the clouds….as long as your feet are firmly on the ground.

One thing I realized is that I am not ok right now………..and that's totally ok :)

Love Your Enemy

sweater: via Jame's Clothing Boutique (similar here) // leggings: via Jame's Clothing Boutique (similar here) // parka h&m (available here) // shoes: shoemint (similar here)
photos by common dove photography

So far I've been pretty open with the range of emotions that come along with going through a divorce…and I'm not going to stop now because it feels good to get it out there and because of the massive amount of love and support you guys have shown me over the last couple of months. 

Lately I've become tired of giving away pieces of myself. I'm not one of those people who has become jaded or bitter about love and marriage…… its just terrifying putting yourself out there again. The last several years have turned me into an "all or nothing" kind of person….if I'm going to do something its going to be with my whole heart…no matter what it is. 

I'm learning that fear and loneliness are tough but most of the time YOU are your own worst enemy. Self doubt, insecurities and feelings of never finding someone who can fully love you for EVERYTHING that you are can eat away at you……. However, sometimes, in the most unexpected places….around some of the most unexpected people, you find yourself letting go of everything that has held you back. And even though being vulnerable is scary as hell... sometimes you just have to get out of your own way and take risks on those people (or one certain person) that haven't given up on you.

"And God said 'Love Your Enemy,' and I obeyed him and loved myself." 

Split

dress: gap (here) // boots: shoemint (similar here) // vest: vintage burberry (loving this one)
photos by common dove photography

Growing up in a household where my holidays were split between families was pretty difficult if I'm going to be honest. Over the years it became easier and eventually like second nature but something always felt off. Those of you that have been following me for a while or even just recently know that I'm currently going through a separation….and this Thanksgiving is the first one I will be spending without my son because he will be with his father. Tearing up as I write this because I never thought I would be on this end of things….having to "split" our child for the holidays and all that comes along with that. However, I am very thankful for the fact that Andrew has so many incredible people that love him and that he will be spending this holiday with a group of people that I still (and will always) consider my family and he couldn't be in better hands. Also thankful that I have the pleasure of spending Thanksgiving with my parents in their new home in Virginia Beach. Hope you all enjoy your time letting those who mean the most to you know how thankful you are for them…..enjoying an insane amount of good food……watching football and the Macy's Day Parade…..and enjoying life :)

The Long and Short of It

sweater: similar here // leather skirt: vintage (loving this one) // boots: shoemint (similar here) // sunnies: prada (similar here)
photos by common dove photography

OK, I'll admit it, I have a bit of a complex about being "petite." In fact, I loath the term "petite" itself; it sounds like you are weak and unable to fend for yourself. Yes…..I'm short…..and blonde……and bubbly…..and with all of that comes a certain stigma. For instance,  people like to call you "cute" because you are small…..cute….really? If I were my size and about 6 inches taller I can guarantee you people would not call me "cute." However, with all of my ramblings about my height I'm starting to learn that there are certain benefits to being Polly Pocket size….. like being able to wear super short vintage leather skirts with moto boots and not looking as scantily clad as a tall person would. But the best part is realizing you can fit under a cannon…..suck on that my vertically gifted friends.